When you live with chronic pain like I do, you do whatever it takes to get through it. After four years of being a recovering morphin addict, I've learned to reach out to the things that are my resources: my art, drawing, painting, writing, cooking. I do whatever I have to do. Sometimes, if I have a medical card, I smoke marijuana. It doesn't change the pain, but it alters my perception of it, calms the anxiety, and eases nausea.
But the pain remains. What gets me through now is my connection with myself, my soul. I'm discovering spirituality for the first time, and it's awakening something within me. I'm learning to deal with things in a new way, and it's making me wonder if the pain is just an illusion. It's hard to be convinced of that when it's so real. Sometimes it feels like it's beyond that realm, and I don't know how to deal with it. But I've learned to adapt.
I'm no stranger to pain - cancer, chronic pain, lung disease... I've got a lot going on. People sometimes think I'm faking it because it doesn't show. Let me tell you, some diseases are invisible, hidden within you. But I know what I am, and I don't need validation from anyone. I struggle every day, but I get out of bed and do what I have to do because giving up isn't an option. This is just what I do.
