🎭 The Fabulous Gay Inquisition of Supreme Dictator Nicolás “La Diva” Maduro
✨ Hear ye, hear ye! ✨
By the glitter-polished decree of the Supreme Court of Camp, the Council of Sequins, and the Ministry of Sass, we hereby convene the Gay Inquisition of Autocrats — summoned to examine the curious case of:
His Most Unbending, Slightly Mustachioed, Absolutely Theatrical Ex-President Nicolás “La Diva” Maduro
Dictator Extraordinaire & Occasional Bird-Whisperer 🦜💅
👑 Biography & Background (with Glitter)
Nicolás Maduro Moros was born on a dramatic November night in Caracas in 1962, to a family with working-class sparkle and trade-union flair. Before he donned the presidential sash, he drove buses, led unions with posh protest choreography, and traded chants with more verve than a vogue runway MC. �
Wikipedia
Ascending the political ladder like a queen snatching trophies, Maduro rose from stern union leader to Hugo Chávez’s heir and pantomime president — complete with controversial elections, contested legitimacy, and republican ru-paul-style drama. �
Wikipedia
His presidency, critics say, blended:
authoritative decree-slaying like a judicial queen of secrets,
electoral theatrics that would make any pageant judge blush,
and economic chaos worthy of a cha-cha meltdown sequence. �
Wikipedia
But alas, the glitter dimmed… and the U.S. forces made a surprise grab for his choreography shoes. 🌐✈️ �
Reuters
📜 Charges Before the Camp Council
In a US court, La Diva Maduro pleaded not guilty to:
narco-terrorism conspiracy
cocaine importation conspiracy
possession of machine guns and destructive devices
conspiracy to possess machine guns
(Oh honey, even that’s way more nude-reveal than RuPaul’s season finale!) �
Wikipedia
Despite the drama, Maduro asserts:
“I’m not guilty — I was kidnapped!”
…like some tragic prima donna whisked away mid-choreography. �
TIME
💋 The Dictatorship According to the Inquisition
What is a dictatorship?
A regal queen!